I decided that if I could just manufacture more time, then that would solve a lot of problems in my life.

I recently noted that I'm really busy, and usually my life comes down to this simple decision:

Do I want to do "this," or do I want sleep?

Usually, sleep trumps everything, even if it's something I know I have to get done.

I'm not a sleepaholic, nor am I the type who needs 18 hours of sleep a night. However, I once read that between the 3 things-- eating right, exercising, and sleeping-- if you had to choose one to NOT skimp on, it would be sleep. It's so important. Without sleep, we don't think clearly, make the right decisions, or find ourselves physically able to make good decisions regarding eating, exercising, or anything else.

So I take it pretty seriously-- and I have also adopted the motto for it that I also have with eating-- "Listen to your body." If we are healthy and functioning at a normal level, it is really quite simple. Am I exhausted? I need to get to bed. Am I starving? I need to eat. Am I still hungry after a meal? I need more protein or fiber. Am I full? Stop eating-- step away from the chocolate cake-- step away...

The first words out of my mouth in the morning are, "I don't want to get out of bed." (I usually say that to either one of my cats, who is snuggled up and purring right beside me, which is why I am running late most mornings.) Eventually and reluctantly, I roll out of my nice warm abyss between the sheets and quickly wrap myself up in the fleece robe that has been deposited onto my bedroom floor from the morning before. It's hard to get going but once I do, I run full speed ahead.


So the only solution is to add 2-3 more hours to each day. How about 26 hour days? Or 28 hour days?

Anyone else with me?

Be back soon-- T

This week has been crazy. I have only had time to sleep, eat, and work-- and to top it off, I was fighting off a stomach bug all week. It lasted for 4 days, but I'm in the clear now. Fortunately, it wasn't super-severe, but it did make me reach exhaustion much quicker and every meal consisted of chicken noodle soup and oyster crackers.

Last night was the company Christmas party, so a large part of my week was dedicated to prep... including all of yesterday! It was a special evening and a wonderful celebration. Fortunately, my stomach was mostly mended by then so I was able to enjoy a delicious steak dinner and 2 mini cheesecakes for dessert... peanut butter cup, of course, and a festive peppermint.

On this mild December morning, I decided not to do anything but relax. So I laid in bed extra long and skipped my aerobic dance class at the gym. I stayed in my PJs until noon, played my Pandora Christmas station and looked up a new recipe for pancakes.




I'll share it with you, because they were SO good. I wanted to find a protein-packed and "clean" way to make the batter. Here is the recipe with pictures...

Ingredients:
3/4 cup plain Greek yogurt
1 egg
1/2 cup flour (use whole wheat, or I substituted 1/2 of this for oats)
1 t baking soda
*I added cinnamon and chia seeds to my batter









Be back soon :) T

For the first time in... probably ever, I have all my Christmas shopping done before the 15th. I am very much so a deadline-driven individual, but this year, the "organized" bug bit me and I planned ahead. I wouldn't count on it being a pattern, but it is kind of nice for it to be done and out of the way. I may have a couple other things that pop up before Christmas, but as a whole I feel very prepared!

Saturday was a big contributor to this project completion. It was a Christmas shopping day for me-- started off with a big lunch at Chipotle, and then plowed through several stores in Peoria to get what I needed. Capped the day off with a celebratory peppermint mocha frappuccino (Starbucks, of course).

Also, decor has been up since the day after Thanksgiving, but that's nothing new. It has always been a family tradition to do so, and I followed suit once I moved out of my parents' house. I'll share some pictures of the finished product below...

I am really looking forward to the holidays this year, and am enjoying this (somewhat) mild weather. Compared to last winter, it's absolutely balmy. I'm sure the negative temperatures will find a way into our winter eventually, but for now, it has been great. And in case it does take a turn for the worse, I have two trips planned for this winter-- one immediately after Christmas, and one at the end of January-- both to warmer places.

We went Christmas caroling tonight with our church-- and I am excited about many upcoming "Christmas" celebrations over the next couple of weeks. It's such an exciting time. I am the biggest sucker for Christmas music, holiday cheer, twinkle lights, and peppermint sticks. I just love it all. Never mind the fact that I have had to get the ladder out TWICE and fix some stubborn lights that fell down from my house gutter, or that my cats feel the Christmas tree was brought into the house solely for their entertainment. It's all for good Reason... actually, the other day, I was thinking of "the Reason for the Season." Christmas is all about celebrating Jesus' birth. Then my mind went to Easter-- which we celebrate as Jesus' death on the Cross and rising again. While Easter is celebrated, it is not done up like Christmas with all the marketing. And I had to ask myself why. Jesus' death on the cross for our sins is the most important thing that happened in history-- without that, we would have no hope of Heaven. But then it hit me: without His birth, there wouldn't have been a death. That was the true sacrifice... God sending His only Son into this sinful, evil world-- a perfect baby, a bright miracle, a sinless human. He left a perfect place to come live in an imperfect world, and experienced pain, sorrow, temptation, and persecution on our behalf. Jesus' birth is an extraordinary event that changed the world, and while some of the holiday hype and Christmas chaos is overdone and unfocused, it should definitely be celebrated.

So I am looking forward to this Season... going in thankful for what I have, grateful for where I'm at, and even semi-wishing there would be a magical white snowfall by the time Christmas Day appears.

Outdoor lights. This took me longer than I expected and was harder than I remembered! But it sure does brighten up the place...




















Be back soon.........T

I have been staging a comeback for quite some time. I recently heard that the best way to organize your house was to take everything through the "joy" test. For example, if you need to get rid of a bunch of things, you hold them up and say, "Is this practical? Do I use it?" If not-- "Does it bring me joy?" If yes-- keep it. If no-- toss it.

That concept has been floating around in my mind lately, because I used to write all the time. And writing DOES bring me joy. So why don't I do it? Because life is busy, and I allow other things to crowd my time to the exclusion of something that brings me joy. So I am boycotting the non-joy items and am going to carve out more time for writing, which HOPEFULLY means I will keep up with this blog more.

Right now, it's a quarter to midnight, my house is a disastrous explosion around me and I'm tired. So I am going to go to bed, but I wanted to post something because a worthwhile journey starts with one small step. Sorry for the cheesy (and somewhat butchered) quote, but my brain is running on fumes.

Until next time.....which my goal is TOMORROW.... T

I leave you with Christmas-splendor-kitty...

I am writing a review on my experience with the 24 Day Challenge for a couple of reasons... first, it's fun to document what went on during that time. It solidifies the fact that progress was made. And second-- while I went through the challenge, I found myself scouring the internet for others' reviews. Whenever I had questions or found myself discouraged, it helped to read about other people's experiences. So, perhaps my review can help someone else down the road.



Background
Most of my life, I have been blessed with a really fast metabolism. In college, I was the girl who could eat 2 Krispe Kreme donuts, down a Starbucks frappe, and top it off with a big bowl of popcorn and then wake up the next morning 3 lbs. lighter. And yes... many times my friends would say, "I hate you."

With that said, I have a few things on my side. For one, I have pretty good genes. Both of my parents are slim, and so were their parents. Secondly, my mom has always been health-conscious and I grew up eating pretty healthy-- steamed veggies, lean meat, fresh fruit, etc. And third, I discovered that I had a "stopper" to control the tendency to overeat. I have always LOVED food and I love to eat, and it is something I look forward to on a daily basis. I am almost always "SO hungry," but fortunately, I also get full quickly. I am very in tune with how I feel physically, so when I eat a sufficient amount, my brain has always told me, "You're really full!" I know without this mechanism, I would be very overweight, because I love food so much and would just keep eating if I could. In talking to others, I have found that not everyone gets this feeling as quickly as I do (or sometimes at all), so I am thankful for it. Literally, when the "stopper" kicks in, I feel full to the point of wanting to throw up if I eat anything more, and it's not because I gorged myself with food but rather, I count it as a protector to myself lest I eat all day long!

While the above factors may be true, in the past couple of years, I hit my "late 20s" and with it, a dip in metabolism. I realized I couldn't eat whatever I wanted anymore and not expect to pay for it. Furthermore, I went from owning my own business as an active photographer always on my feet and walking around to a full-time "desk" job as a designer, so my activity slowed down. Consequently, I put on about 15 pounds.

By no means was I grossly overweight, nor do I think I necessarily "looked" heavy. I still appeared pretty trim, but it was enough of a difference that I went up an entire pants size and started to get a thick middle. I could tell my thighs, hips, and waist were larger and I started to feel less energetic.

My overall energy level before the challenge was "OK," but my family runs "high-energy" by nature. However, mornings have always been torturous for me. It usually takes everything in me to drag myself out of bed, and for the first 20 minutes, all I can think about is "when can I sleep next?" Once past the initial slump, it's another 2-3 hours before I fully "wake up" and feel coherent. In addition, I almost always hit a "post-lunch dip" mid-afternoon everyday, and by late afternoon, I am starving and tired.

Let's talk about sugar. I have always loved my sweets, and like I said-- before, I was able to get away with eating what I wanted and it not affecting me. However, this is where I started to notice a big difference. My dependence on sugar was something I didn't want to admit but knew was true. I LOVE dessert and "treats." The mocha frappucinno from Starbucks-- I was absolutely addicted to it. I would plan my trips to Peoria (and my meals) around when I would be able to get one. Most of the time, when eating out, I would eat light for dinner so I could order dessert. Sugar acts like an addictive drug, and I have experienced that firsthand. Studies show that your brain reacts to it like a drug addict does to Cocaine. The same "feel-good" feelings fire in the pleasure center of your brain, and just like drugs, each time it takes a "higher dose" to get the same high. It's enough to keep you coming back for more every time.

One of my friends was selling AdvoCare, and recommended "Spark" to me. It's an energy drink with a bunch of vitamins and caffeine in it, and while I wasn't big on energy drinks, I tried it. I have to do a half packet at a time, because it's a really big "energy rush" if you're not used to it, but I was impressed with how good I felt on it. It made me a lot more productive, gave me an immediate burst of energy, and sustained that energy for hours and hours without the feeling of a sugar crash.

From there, I learned about the 24-Day Challenge, and my mom and I decided to try it together. She was at the same spot as me with wanting to trim down, so we thought it would be a good starting point. What could it hurt? So we signed up to be distributors (gets you a 20% discount on the product) and ordered two sets, and began our journey of 24 days.

Days 1-10
The 24 Day Challenge is split into two phases: The Cleanse Phase, and the Max Phase. Days 1-10 is the Cleanse Phase. The goal of this phase is to rid your body of all toxins-- to clean you out. It's not as horrific as it sounds :) It also helps to prepare your body to be in the best state possible to absorb the nutrients you will be putting into your body during the Max Phase.

I have never been through a cleanse before, but they typically entail restricting lots of calories or going on a juice fast. With this cleanse, you take pills in the morning and evening, and then a fiber drink on Days 1-3 and 7-10. You start every morning with Spark-- which was hard for me to do at first-- but totally worth it. It seriously "woke me up" within minutes of drinking it and made me ready to start my day.

Fiber Drink
It took some time to get used to the fiber drink. I would highly recommend the peaches 'n cream flavor over the citrus one. By Day 3, I figured out the best way for me to get it down was to blend it with a little water, a little OJ, some ice, and an actual peach. It turned it into a delicious smoothie that was pleasant to drink. A lot of people recommend mixing it with water and downing it as quickly as possible, but that is hard for me to do (unless I'm REALLY thirsty and it's ice cold water) so I found an alternative.

Challenges
The hardest days for me on this cleanse were the first few. I really struggled with changing my diet and in fact, the first days, I did not eat well at all. The challenge encourages you to eat a protein, carb, and fruit for breakfast and a protein, carb, and vegetables for your other two meals, supplementing with healthy snacks. By Day 3-4, I had cut out about 500-600 extra calories a day, and was feeling the affects of it. I was hungry all the time, but it was because I wasn't eating enough protein to offset all the carbs I was used to, so I fixed that. I also felt really bloated and "large," and on Day 7 when I weighed myself and I hadn't lost a pound, I was starting to get really discouraged. Not only did I still "feel" fat but the scale didn't reflect any changes. I know it's not about losing weight, but about burning fat and building up muscle and losing inches. However, it was hard to know I was saying "no" to a lot of my favorite foods and not seeing any results.

I talked to my AdvoCare advisor and she asked me how my blood sugar levels were. I know mine weren't great because I wasn't getting an adequate amount of protein at each meal. She said during this phase, your metabolism is "resetting" so its important to be eating correctly.

Eating Habits
I did majorly cheat on Day 2 and drink a mocha frappucinno that my friend brought me. Also, on Day 6, my mom and I were out shopping all day, and during an afternoon hunger craze, I broke down and got another one, but it was a "skinny" version made with the lite mix, skim milk and no whip, which cut the calorie content more than half, but I know it wasn't good to have all that sugar. I also didn't completely cut out breads and chips, but when I ate them, I ate them sparingly (a bagel "thin"--only one side-- with a sandwich, or a few corn chips with tons of chicken and black beans). My goal was to be realistic with what I ate, so it was something I could continue as a lifestyle.

Before the challenge, on a typical day, I would consume anywhere from 500-1,000 calories after 4pm with dinner and snack time combined. I almost always treated myself to either a Dairy Queen, Starbucks, dessert, or popcorn & 90 calorie Coke every single night. If none of those options worked out, I ate a bowl of cereal before bed.

On Days 3-10, I cut out most sugar. I put a little bit of brown sugar on my oatmeal in the mornings, and I would allow myself a half portion of dessert here and there, but my sugar consumption was nowhere near what it normally was. A couple healthy alternatives for my "sugar fix" included a banana and apple with peanut butter, or a Kind bar.

Encouragement
On Day 7, after still not seeing a huge difference in weight (maybe 1 lb.), I got the tape measure out and was pleasantly surprised to find I had lost 2" in each thigh! I don't know if it's because my initial measurements were on the high end, but at any rate-- I'll take it! It did make me feel better and even though my old pants still didn't fit, I felt like I was making a little progress.

Mood
I typically run pretty even, but can also experience high highs and low lows within a moment's notice. I can get quite down if the weather is cloudy or at certain times of the day. However, I noticed that during the cleanse, I felt really good the whole time. Noticeably-- I felt GREAT in the evenings, right after dinner-- and so energetic. I also felt really good in the mornings, even when it was a dark, rainy day! I just felt really bright and cheery, and overall had a positive outlook on life.

Small Successes
Although there were times I let myself eat something I shouldn't, I also said no to a lot of tempting situations! One night, my mom called me up and told me she had just made two delicious pies for a meeting and had tons leftover. Do I want a piece of coconut creme pie? Um... YES. It was a couple hours after dinner, I was hungry, and it sounded delicious. But I knew if I said yes to the sugar, I would regret it after eating it. Then, all on the same day at work-- I had a lunch meeting with pizza sitting right in front of me for 2 hours-- didn't touch a piece-- and that afternoon, DELICIOUS hot buttery popcorn was made, one of my FAVORITE snacks. And while popcorn can be a healthy snack, I knew this had tons of salt and butter... so again... I refrained. It is SO hard to hold back, but I did so that I could feel better about my choices and also give my body the cleanse it needed without adding more toxins to the process. 

Days 11-24
The 24 Day Challenge's second part is called The Max Phase. This is the best part! After you go through the "cleanse," your body is clean and ready to receive all of the vitamins that you start taking on Day 11. It consists of Spark in the morning, then a few Probiotics before breakfast, some more vitamins with breakfast, another dose of Probiotics/Calcium before lunch, and some Omega-3s with lunch. The packets say to take 30 minutes before breakfast/lunch and then the other packets during lunch, but you can split them up for any of your meals.

Depending on how chaotic my day was, sometimes I wouldn't get to my vitamins until my dinner meal. However, I always made sure to complete a strip of vitamins each day, and if I forgot, I took as soon as I remembered before the day's end.

There are 3 different MNS systems-- MNS E (energry), MNS C (carb-ease) and MNS 3 (combination of both). I did MNS-3. Honestly, I felt SO good on this. I felt really energetic all the time. Most days, when I would normally be hitting a slump or running out of energy, I still felt like I could keep going. During this phase, I also started to feel more "full" and satisfied with my meals, even with everything I had cut out.

Saying Good-Bye
I had to learn to say good-bye to the "experience" that sugar gave me. This may sound dumb, but for me, part of getting Starbucks was the experience. Walking into intense coffee aroma, ordering my frappe, waiting for it at the counter, sliding the paper off my pretty green straw, and sipping on an icy beverage for the next hour... plus the ensuing rush of ecstasy after drinking the mocha-flavored treat... it was all so wonderful. Or looking forward to a really rich, chocolatey dessert... or eying a big frosted sugar cookie. Those types of things bring me great excitement :) But I had to train myself that while it tasted SO good in the moment, a cleaner, healthier choice lasted longer, and not only that, it gave me nutrients with it.


There were many times I had to longingly gaze at a Starbucks as I drove by, or consciously say "no" to desserts and savory treats for what seemed like 25x a day. But I never regretted NOT eating something sweet, and often I would just replace it with a sweet but healthy alternative (i.e. piece of fruit or my new love-- a salted caramel or mocha dark chocolate Kind bar!)

As time went on, I was absolutely amazed at how much I didn't crave sugar. One day, I even stopped by a Starbucks and got another lite mocha frapp, but I only drank half of it. It just tasted really sweet and wasn't as satisfying as it used to be.

The 24 Day Challenge fell over one of the best times of year in our town-- the Pumpkin Festival. We have pumpkin EVERYTHING :) I ate a piece of pumpkin pie, some pumpkin ice cream, and one night I even got an elephant ear, but I shared it with my parents and asked them to make it not as greasy! While I know these were not good choices, my victory was that I was able to do it in moderation. I didn't go home and overdose on other unhealthy things afterwards; and I was able to continually say "no" to other things when the situation called for it. If I can keep the mindset of "less is more" when it comes to sugar, I think I'll be OK.

Energy
My favorite part of this phase was how much energy I had. I don't think I noticed the difference until I started to compare myself to what I know I usually felt like in similar situations. I was constantly amazed at how overall "well" I felt and how much stamina I had to accomplish what needed to happen, especially at my low-energy parts of the day (early morning, post-lunch, and post-dinner).

New Discoveries
I discovered a few things about myself. One: I don't need everything that I think I do. A lot of what I ate just became a habit. I was used to having a snack every night before bed; therefore, I felt I always needed one, and it was sad when it didn't happen, and so on. Second: there are healthy alternatives to a lot of the things I eat. All it takes is checking a label and / or choosing to eat "clean." And third is something I learned several years back from a documentary called "Hungry for Change," and that is the concept that if you start to put wholesome, clean food into your diet, it eventually crowds out the "bad." Once you start to eat a lot of fruits and vegetables, you no longer crave high sugary foods anymore or rely on them for energy. You also start to "feel" better and the feeling it gives far outweighs the temporary high of a sugary treat.

The Results
I was mostly happy with the results. I will admit that I was disappointed that I did not lose more weight. I was hoping to make it down to 125 and barely made it under 130. However, I do understand that I was changing my body composition; thus, when retaining muscle, you don't always lose a lot of weight and sometimes stay the same or gain, if it is muscle mass that is replacing the fat.  With a program like the 24DC, the focus and goal is to tone you, thus feeding and retaining your muscle mass. A lot of weight loss programs focus on only one thing: losing weight. But with that weight loss can come loss of muscle, which is not always a good thing. When you want to become toned, it's more important to focus on inches lost than weight lost. Losing weight happens when you burn more calories than you consume in a day, but losing inches happens when you actually burn off the fat and bulk up your muscle. Muscle weighs more than fat, but also takes up less room. The best part about increasing your muscle mass is that eventually, it can lead to additional weight loss as your body is able to more efficiently burn calories!


Before...
Weight: 133 lbs.
Thighs: 23.5"
Waist: 29.5"
Hips: 38.5"
Bust: 35"

After...
Weight: 130 lbs.
Thighs: 21"
Waist: 28"
Hips: 37.5"
Bust: 33"

Totals...
Weight lost: 3 lbs.
Inches lost: 9.5"

My favorite part is that I went down an entire pants size!

I did take before & after photos every 5-6 days throughout the challenge, but they are not appropriate to share, so I will spare you! However, I'll leave you with an acceptable "after" shot...



Thanks for reading along... I wouldn't expect most people to read the entire thing, but wanted to include a conclusive report so people have the option to read whichever parts interest them. It was a very interesting journey, and I plan on staying on some of the supplements post-challenge (Catalyst, OmegaPlex, and Spark). I don't think I would do this challenge anymore than once a year, but it did help me complete my main goal, which was to jump start a healthier eating regimen and lifestyle!

T

I would most likely be one of these two pairs. I am usually not an online shopper, but a friend sent me the link to this brand called "Poetic License" and it didn't take me long to fall in love. Before I knew it, I had ordered two pairs. Fortunately, I am a pretty solid 8.5, so when the shoes arrived and I slipped them on my feet, I was pleased to see that they both fit!

I was going to do a "Favorite Things" post and list a few of my favorite things, but instead I will just do separate posts. There are more pictures to come, but I didn't want to overload you all in one post.

These shoes are colorful, eccentric, and artsy... just like me!

Tonight is one of those rare nights at home where I feel like I have had all the time in the world, have accomplished much, and still feel energized. Usually, it's the opposite... there aren't enough hours in the evening to get everything done before exhaustion beckons me to bed. I'll revel in my time and perhaps add in a bubble bath to top it off :)

Enjoy the shoes!


Be back soon. T

Was file-surfing tonight on the old hard drive, and found this gem that I created back in 2009. I was both shocked and delighted to find a movie I had finished, because my typical archives contain half-edited projects... I start strong but have a tough time finishing. I do best when I can sit down and focus for 5 hours straight in a burst of energetic creativity rather than working in small pieces over a period of time <<< because if I use the latter approach, I almost never complete it.

Sad, but true. It's the way my creativity works. Anyway, all that to say... enjoy the film... you will see I feature my nieces and nephews in it, who are all much older now! This was before Sylvia, Milo, and Liam's time... crazy!



Oh, the sweet silliness and vibrant smiles and goofy plays of childhood... such a colorful and innocent place to be. Enjoy!

As a single girl in her 20s (I'll keep you guessing on the actual age), there are many realities I have come to both accept and enjoy. Here are a taste of some...


1. I love my freedom.
I wasn't always an independent person. But now, that word is the best way to describe me. 

2. They have my order memorized at all the local Starbucks locations.
I'll never forget the swelling of pride I had when I walked up to the counter at the East Peoria Target Starbucks, opened my mouth to order, and instead, the Barista filled in the blanks for me. Although, maybe I shouldn't be proud. Maybe instead, I should be booking a coffee addiction support group.

3. The Mexican food place two blocks from my house? They also have my order memorized.
Because too many are the nights when I'm driving home from work and I'm in my I'm-way-too-hungry-to-cook-and-even-if-I-did-I-would-starve-before-I-finished-cooking-it mood. Either that, or my mom hasn't called to invite me over for dinner with her and my dad.

4. For the past decade of my life, I have always worked anywhere from 3-5 jobs at one time.
And really, I don't mind it. Getting paid to sleep? Taking pictures of darling little newborns and color-coordinated families? Sign me up!

5. I used to roll my eyes at the person who made a big deal over their pets and referred to themselves as "mommy" to them....... I am now that person.
I have two cats, and they are my children. I buy them clothes, sparkly collars, and toys. I feed them and keep them alive. I have a picture of them on my desktop screensaver at work. Don't judge... they keep me warm at night!

6. I am unable to sleep in past 10am, and for this I have deep sorrow.
I'm not joking. I have completely lost the art of it. I think my ability was lost sometime between college and 3 years ago when my job made me get up at 7am.

7. Some nights, I get into my PJs at 6pm and lay on the couch watching Gilmore Girls.
Rest assured that popcorn is involved.

8. My idea of a productive Friday night includes getting my laundry done for the week and cleaning the house.
I do have a social life from time to time, but I'm just saying that the idea of folding laundry doesn't make me nauseous as it once did. In fact, it's downright satisfying sometimes.

9. My relationships are different.
But good different. I am able to invest more fully and reach out more freely.

10. Traveling.
It's an option, and I have minimal headache in making it happen.

And so it is... the life of a single girl. Today, I heard a quote that said something like, "Contentment is being satisfied in Christ, and not thinking you will only be satisfied in a different set of circumstances."

These are my circumstances, and honestly... they're pretty good!

Love to you all... be back soon.

Taryn

Time slows down for no one. They always say that the older you get, the faster time goes. I find that to be true and wish I could slow it down... just a little...

I have had blogger's block lately. I can't tell you how many times I have come to the blank post board in the past few weeks. I stare at it, start to write a few paragraphs, and then close out the window, slightly exasperated and convinced I can no longer write.

So I'll make this a simple update, highlighting a few lighthearted topics, just to get back into the swing of things.

First up is Aldi. Yes, the grocery store. I just read an article about how there were two German brothers long ago that started grocery stores-- one is what we know today as Trader Joe's, a high-end, Americanized grocery store-- and the other is Aldi, an inexpensive alternative which incorporates the German way.

I've been to Aldi before, but the article inspired me to go back, so today, I did. I have determined that I should shop there from now on, that it is a "Taryn" store, for the following reasons:

1. Shopping at Aldi is like shopping in a different country, because it is so different than American grocery stores. I like that it's different; that there are boxes stacked up and lining the store instead of shelves, that you have to put down earnest money to get your cart and that you bag your own groceries.

2. Nothing is in order. This appeals to my personality. While this might cause heart palpitations for more organized, OCD types, the disorder puts me at ease. I don't like the predictable and it stresses me out less that I don't know what's coming next. It's like a surprise every time I turn a corner :)

3. Less options. This may be a drawback for some, but honestly, for me it's best. Again, grocery stores are usually a nightmare for me, because I can spend hours there. The more options, the more likely I am to get lost, wandering up and down aisles, studying the 50 different types of brownie mixes before I can make a decision. But at Aldi, you only have one option, two tops. This, for me, is like magic. I look at the product and only one decision needs to be made: do I need it, or not? If I do, I take it. If I don't, I move on. The process goes by much quicker and I find I am in and out in record time.

4. It's inexpensive. Aldi can keep their prices low because they don't have the overhead of lots of grocery staff including a bakery, flower shop, meat department, baggers, etc. Plus, they don't have to have "paper or plastic" in stock, and they're a quarter richer every time a careless shopper leaves their shopping cart in the parking lot without returning it. The drawback for me is that you have to have cash on hand and remember to bring in my own bags, but those two items are worth it if I can cut my grocery bill in half... which, in most cases, I can, for equal or greater value.

5. There is a feeling of accomplishment. Honestly, most of the time, shopping at the grocery store is something that takes longer than it needs, distracts me more than I ever plan on, costs more than I expect, and it all ends at the check-out line where inevitably, I impatiently tap my foot while waiting on the cashier and bagger to finish the process. Then, there are the nearly-dozen plastic bags I have to unload into my car, then back out of my car and into my house, where my cat Isabel promptly runs inside of one and goes tearing through the house with it hanging around her neck. But with Aldi, the checkout process takes way less time, thus minimizing the impatience. I am efficiently rung up, I wheel my cart to the nearest open spot on the loading dock, and I bag my own groceries. I like that, because I feel like I am doing something rather than just standing there letting everyone else wait on me. Furthermore, all of my groceries can fit into two large "green" bags as opposed to a dozen plastic ones. So loading into my car is easier and quicker.

Can you believe I just wrote all of that on Aldi? It's like I am campaigning for them. Maybe I am. Maybe they should pay me marketing money. But then they'd have to raise their prices, so never mind.

The next topic is exercised-induced urticaria. It sounds big, but really it's just a fancy way of saying exercise that causes hives. I first discovered this several years ago, when I was walking briskly outside one winter. It never bothered me much again until this past winter in Florida. I was walking on the beach, and suddenly my legs broke out into red blotchy hives, and it felt like one thousand bees had stung me. It is the most intense, uncomfortable feeling, and it always occurs in my thighs. I literally feel like crawling out of my skin and itching my legs simultaneously, all while contemplating getting sick. It will usually go away on its own within 5-10 minutes if I decrease or stop the exercising, but it's not fun while it lasts. It can also be avoided if I stay on an allergy pill, which I have been living on the past month or so. However, I ran out a few days ago and went on my usual sprint-walk-jog tonight, and was quickly reminded how much I hate this ailment. And I always feel slightly offended... like my body is trying to tell me I'm not in shape. I know that's not the case, that's it just an allergic condition that I have, but still. Can't I handle a little sprinting or brisk walking?

Oh, well. There are bigger problems in life.

I'll close with this... because embarrassingly, it's probably true of me.



I'll be back eventually, once I snap out of my writer's block :( T

One topic of interest on my mind lately is one of my dreams. I have had many dreams in my life, and some of them have come true. A lot of them haven't. Either way, I will never stop dreaming.

Of late, I have been tossing around the idea of being a missionary photojournalist. In my mind, it would combine all of the things I already love to do... photography, capture and tell a "story," traveling and experiencing new places and faces, and communicating a message by way of words and pictures. Is there an organization out there looking for me?

A couple years ago, I almost had the opportunity to travel to the red light district in India. It was only a possibility for a very short time, but while it was I remember the feeling I had. I felt so excited, so empowered, so inspired. It felt so right.

I have to be careful that I don't look at something like this as glamorous, or with rose-colored glasses. It's not that it wouldn't be meaningful and completely fulfilling, but I am sure it would present it's challenges. And it may never even happen. But it's just something that has been kindling in my heart lately, so I needed to write about it :)

Continuing, another thought on the mind has been my current stage in life. On the one side, I am mightily grateful for where I am. Some days, I think to myself, "I love my life," and I mean it. In a lot of ways, I have the best of all worlds. I am single and independent, free to live my life exactly how I choose. I am a single working aunt of 12 with a perfectly-sized house decorated in my colorful eclectic style fully equipped with 2 darling kitties and my dream car. I don't have to do anything I don't want to do, and thus; if I want to come home from work and get straight into my PJs, make a dinner out of a bowl of Cheerios and treat myself to a bubble bath for the rest of the evening with book in hand, no one's stopping me. The ability to have the choice to do or not do anything is a wonderful feeling. At the same time, being on my own also means being responsible with my finances, wise in my choices, and accountable for my time. I have enjoyed lazy nights in, but I've also enjoyed the freedom and ability to counsel at the jail 3-4 times a month, run my own business right from my home and schedule photo shoots whenever it works for me, or go stay at my sister's house to watch my nieces and nephews for a weekend. The name of the game is flexibility, and I love that feeling.

Now let's look at the other side. I am blessed with a huge circle of supportive family, friends, and church members. Yet, I have advanced to a place in life where almost all my friends are married and are well into starting their families. Most of my friends are currently pregnant and/or just delivered a child. The miracle of a friend's love in the form of a beautiful baby never grows old for me to see or be excited about, but it is also a reminder of what I don't have. Marriage and family are both things I have desired since my teen years, and while I completely and fully trust God with the timetable of my life, I often catch myself falling into the comparison trap. Satan gets in there with mind games and makes me doubt my worth because, "I'm not there yet-- and why not? There must be something wrong with you." I know this is a lie, but it's a poison that creeps in from time to time. If I don't watch it, I can be completely panicked and debilitated by this whole situation. Then, ever so quietly and gently, the Still, Small Voice soothes me with His Truths, "Taryn, I know the plans I have for you. I love you very much, and am using you exactly where you are. Have faith... trust... and remember, I have the whole picture in mind."

And I am comforted. Then I usually zoom out big picture and remind myself that even if I never receive the blessing of marriage and/or children in my lifetime, God has begun a good work in me and will not stop until He has finished it... and with or without my specific blueprint, He will do it! And that's all I need to know. My ultimate desire in life is to love God, show Jesus' love to others and to do His will. That, I am certain, is a dream that cannot fail.

Love you all. T

I have been thinking a lot lately. So much so, as I come to the writing board, I'm struggling to put it all into words (this coming from me... I know.)