But I love it. =D

Illinois summer weather is officially here. And it arrived overnight.

This Spring had it backwards: April flowers brought May showers. We had beautiful April weather with blooming all around, and then May was a series of thunderstorms and cloudy days. As this month comes to a close and with June just around the corner, the hot, sticky, hard-to-breathe air has arrived in everyone's backyard.

Great weekend! My life has stayed consistently busy, just the way I like it. If I don't have enough to do, I get bored and stagnant, and if I have too much I become overwhelmed. Somehow, I am currently living the balance between both.

For anyone that cares, I took care of my eye situation and saw the doctor on Friday. I'm on a 5-day trial with daily contacts; we are going to see if this clears up the problem. So far, so good. I was just happy to learn I would be able to wear my contact lenses. The eye doctor also asked me if I wanted my eyes dilated. I never recall having a choice in the past; usually, they just do it. But after confirming that this would help him out, I was a good sport and let him put the dreaded drops in my eyes. Then I sat and waited for 20 minutes while every light in the office become 100x brighter.

So I drove home with glasses & dilated eyes; it's a miracle I made it home, but I did. I even sported some super-cool shades they make to slip behind your eyeglasses. I was squinting behind the shades; there's no way I could have made it home without them. Kristi promptly pointed and laughed the minute I walked back into the office. I think she was just jealous.

Anyway, enough on eyes. Saturday brought about a hot, humid day and wedding photography. We had the pleasure of shooting the wedding of an adorable and amazing Christian couple. They were so sweet, and so fun to capture. Very natural and photogenic. In fact, we told the groom he could come teach all of our future grooms how to be charming and wonderful; he was perfect behind the camera! Most guys are not comfortable or thrilled to have a hired paparazzi follow you around on your wedding day, but every time we looked at him he was doing something worthy of a precious picture. We had a blast using a black couch on a beautiful property, and the bridal party was also a fun group of energy.

Today was a great day in church. Two awesome messages. Psalm 101:3 stuck out to me this morning; and our youngest preacher had this afternoon's service. I love how he can break apart any verses in Scripture and make it applicable to daily living. He was telling us how he talked to a man who was telling him all about his religion and different meditations that he does.

"Do you know how ashamed he was to tell me about all of that?" he asked. "Zero."

He then went on to make the point that we, as Christians, need to get over any "silence" we allow because of shame.

Ever since I started working at the CILAs, I've had the opportunity to meet and get to know a lot of individuals with developmental disabilities and handicaps. They are all precious and unique, and I love every single one of them. Our church in Morton is blessed to welcome a lot of them each Sunday, so I often talk to those that are milling around. There is one man in particular who ALWAYS comes up to my friends and I and talks to us. He has taken a special interest to Kristi and I, and our photography business.

Every Sunday, without fail, he will walk up and look at me, and then Kristi. He will then look at anyone we happen to be talked to and point to us.

"Do you know they have a photography business?" He'll ask. "They take pictures."

Nods and smiles.

He will then target one of our female friends and say, "You know, I think you should go work for them. Work up front at their shop, and be their secretary."

I always tell him this is a great idea.

He always has something up his sleeve; a new idea, or an insight. His most characteristic feature is the way he exits. He always abruptly finishes his sentence, turns around, and walks away.

I appreciate this in him, because it's often the way I wish I could handle conversation. Sometimes, it's easier to just walk away than try to tie together all loose ends, draw a useful conclusion to whatever was said, or think of an eloquent way to end the conversation. He doesn't worry about such things; he's just done. I love it.

Anyway, today he walked up to me and looked at my outfit.

"Did you knit and crochet that yourself?" he asked me, pointing to my dress.

"No, I didn't," I said. "I wish I could do that. Maybe I could knit you a tie, then."

He pondered this. "Well, yeah, you could," he said. "That would be a little different, but I would wear it."

I always appreciate his honesty, curiosity, and questions.

Tonight, we had my brother and sister-in-law and their family over for dinner to welcome little Milo in. We ate an amazing meal of steak/chicken/veggie kabobs and the works. I made a couple of chocolate pies for dessert, and we enjoyed that with coffee, of course. I played hopscotch with Lola on the driveway, and then a game of bags with my brother. It was actually borderline competitive. I was surprised. But Tate still won in the end.

I then headed to Peoria with a couple of friends for coffee. On the way, I saw THIS (pictured below) on the interstate. I took a picture with my cell phone and posted it on Facebook and received a lot of comments. It got a lot of male feedback, not surprisingly, and a lot of girls who said, "That is so unsafe and stupid!"

But really, how does this even happen?

Love you all!

T

I am sitting on the light olive green chair in my room, listening to my two little nieces fall asleep. Evidently this entails flipping the light switch on and off, paging through multiple picture books, and occasionally jabbering to each other.

I became an aunt of 11 last night. My brother, Tate, had his first boy. Milo Tate was born in the early morning. Milo is also the firstborn male in the next Kaiser generation, so is responsible for carrying on our Kaiser family name. No pressure, Milo.

He is very cute! This is one of the first births of my sisters I have not actually been present at the hospital when it took place. Dating back to Noah (my very first nephew, born 10 years ago!) I have always been there when one of my siblings would walk proudly into the waiting room and announce the name.

Our family is a little crazy about babies being born. It's kind of a production. In fact, when my last niece, Sylvia, was born, we all stayed overnight in the hospital. I'm not even kidding. I was up all night. And all morning until she was born.

Anyway, last night I happened to be at my third shift job when my sister-in-law went into labor, so I had no choice but to stay put. I received a phone called at 2am telling me he was born, and a picture text message not too far after. He is a cutie!

So my brother is a proud daddy to 3 now. I went into a mild panic mode last night as I lay awake, thanking the Lord for a healthy baby boy. I thought... OK. To my knowledge, all of my siblings have completed their families. And I haven't even started mine!

But it's alright. God has a plan, no doubt!

In other news, I think I have a mild eye infection. And by mild I mean, it's been going on for 6 months but hasn't bothered me enough to go to the eye doctor. And by hasn't bothered me enough, I mean I don't want to call the eye doctor because I know what they'll tell me. They'll tell me I am allergic to my contacts and I must wear my glasses, and I must NOT wear my contacts, and I must put eye drops in my eyes for a week or so.

Unfortunately: 1) My vision decreases by about 40% when I put my glasses on and 2) On most days, my main job requires that I can see well. For instance, I'm shooting a wedding this weekend. How can I shoot a wedding half blind?

So, I took matters into my own hands and have been wearing my glasses for the past day and a half. But tonight I finally broke and put my contacts back in. It's seriously torture. I'm not sure what happened to my eyesight but somehow, over the years, it has really declined. If I take everything off, I can literally see nothing but shapes and colors. It's all a blur. I am severely near-sighted and can't read anything unless it's literally 2 inches from my face.

But I won't complain, because I'm thankful I have vision at all. I could be blind, and then where would I be? I'm such a visual person. I'm a visual learner, and without my vision, I wouldn't have my job, which I have a huge passion for. In fact, thinking about losing my vision almost makes me claustrophobic. So I'll stop thinking about it now, but I wanted to go there long enough to realize a reason to be thankful rather than discouraged about this matter.

Conclusion: I'll probably call the eye doctor tomorrow. Mainly because I also found out today that I'm almost out of contact lenses.

Also. One other discovery. Those who know me know that I love to eat, and I eat often. It's really a hobby of mine. Everyday from the hours of 3-5pm, I hit a stage where I am ravenous. It's too early for dinner, but I still feel a need to tie myself over. So, I will feature the snack that I fix. It does the trick every time. I believe I shared this tasty treat with you all in the recent past, but it's worthy of reiteration.

Ingredients:

frozen strawberries

Greek yogurt (protein-rich) (vanilla or strawberry-flavored)

Skim milk

Peanut butter

Combine all ingredients in blender. Add more milk for a thinner smoothie; more yogurt or fruit to thicken.

Add some granola and blend that into the smoothie. Pour the smoothie into a glass and top with sliced bananas.

I'm telling you-- if you love peanut butter and/or fruit, this is a great treat and a healthy snack!

Ok, that's all for tonight. I have to go to work. It's kind of crazy when I think about it... I put in a 40+ hour week last week, and I'll be going on 40+ hours this week at my 3rd shift job. That's on top of my daytime job at Imagine Artists, as well as my part-time church website job. But let me define "3rd shift job" for you... in a nutshell, I get paid to sleep.

Love you all!

T

I love letters in the mail.

For many reasons.

It is interesting, because over the past year, the Lord has really been working on my heart regarding this topic. I gave my life to the Lord at a very young age. I believe I was 12 or 13 years old. A year later, I decided to become baptized in the church that I grew up in.

I will admit that at the time, I was not old enough to comprehend the vastness of my decision. I was joining a church and committing myself to it. I attend a church that takes this commitment very seriously, and so my lifestyle changed by default. Yes, because I gave my life to Christ. But also due to areas that my church strongly encouraged and/or discouraged.

Over the years, I have had a chance to develop my Christian walk, grow in the Lord, and have several life experiences. As I have done so, my attitude about my church has grown from mild annoyance, at times, to huge appreciation. I realize now the importance of a complete surrender to Christ with all areas of my life, not because my "church told me to" but because my church is there to support me and be an amazing guide as my spiritual leadership, via a diverse ministering pulpit of men who love God and strive to speak the Truth of His Word, many attending brothers and sisters in Christ, and also a unique traditional worship service as well as fellowship.

I was talking to one of my friends the other night who used to attend our church but now no longer does. He has been attending another church for a few years now, and he really likes it. I asked him if he ever missed our church. He said that was tough to answer, and he really didn't give me a complete one. But, the part that stuck out to me was when he said, "This may seem odd, but I feel like there is some deep feeling that is satisfied when I come back to this church. Maybe it's just that connection to my past and what I grew up in, but I can't help but feel it."

Which leads into the biggest thing I love about my church. It's connectedness. The people who are are members of my church are often stereotyped; it's easy to do, I will admit. And there is quite a range to work from. Yet one thing that remains true to my church and its uniqueness is this: I could fly 8 states away and show up in one of the churches there in a small, random town, and 3 people would be related to me, 6 people who know my parents, and everyone would welcome me as a fellow sister in Christ (or should.)

Going back to my discussion with my friend. His passion right now, he told me, is the concept of being a unified body of Christ regardless of where you attend church. I love this, as well. Denominations can be vast and different; but at the end of the day, aren't we all on the same team? We may have different worship styles, leaders, ministries, pastors, and teachers... but isn't our end goal the same? My thought is that the end goal is to follow Christ, be baptized, and glorify Him by using the talents from the body of believers. No matter where you attend, there will be flaws. There will be divisions, posers, and there will be Satan trying to destroy every good thing. And for those out there looking for a perfect church; you won't find it.

I heard a sermon on the radio a couple months back from one of my favorite guys; he's pretty dynamic. He said with all passion, "When should you stop attending your church? When GOD stops attending there."

So with all that in my mind, I have found the Lord calling me to embrace where He has me. I have had the opportunity to get involved in a few different ministries connected to my church over the past year in which have been such an amazing blessing to my life. I am finding that I can't glorify the Lord or bloom where I am planted unless I get involved with where I am.

I know that I wear rose-colored glasses. I am an incurable optimist, someone who would always rather see the potential rather than watch the imminent storm rolling in. So maybe it's easy for me to see the good... but at the same time, I will say that over the past year, at times in my life where I should have thrown up my hands and given up, or felt like walking away, I have only felt the Lord dropping opportunities in my lap to shine for Him, use my talents to enhance my church and other ministries, and developed a love in my heart for a place that I want to continue to grow.

I was talking to a friend today who was discouraged for reasons I don't really want to blog about. But tonight, as I was riding my bike (which always seems to clear my mind), I had a thought. God is faithful. Period. And He will convey this faithfulness to us when we are faithful to Him. So as long as we do our part in faith, He will be glad to lead us, to be with us, and to reward us in His faithfulness and His promises.

Love you all... T

But this is a good thing, so long as my focus is clear and my perspective is right, I don't see why it would be haunting. Hopefully.

Anyway, over the past couple of years, I have found that most everything that I see on television disgusts me. Most of what's on these days is not the least bit edifying; in fact, it is quite the contrary. If anything, I think TV (and movies, for that matter) have slowly but surely, over time, slipped into a very wicked category. It's hard to find anything, even a so-called "family-friendly" sitcom, that does not involve foul language, sexual scenes, or unbiblical lifestyles. This is so much a part of the world we live in that even though we would never actively participate in these ways, we still feel justified watching a television show or movie of others who do, because, well, it's "entertaining."

We have been desensitized.

It has been largely convicting to me over the past year or so. I am actually not someone who even watches that much television. If anything, being online is the biggest time-waster in my life, so that's what I generally work on cutting down on.

I remember hearing a sermon awhile back about how desensitized we, as Christians, have become because of our society. He said, "If you want to see how desensitized you are, cut out TV for a week. Or better yet- cut it out for a whole month. I guarantee that when you turn that television back on after all that time away, you will be horrified at what you used to allow yourself to watch."

It's true. As I said, I watch very little TV, so when I do turn it on, I find myself disgusted and frustrated by what I see. And lately, I have been feeling the same way about the movies I watch. Most of the entertaining ones to me usually include something compromising, such as foul language or bad scenes. So why do I watch it? To get a few laughs?

I'm not sure. Yet at the same time, there are plenty of films out there that are educational (in nature) and very inspirational, either based off of a true story or are there to inspire. These are meaningful. If I can walk away educated, inspired, or emotionally moved, I usually feel like I spent better use of my time than just laughing at the cost of feeling a bit uncomfortable.

And that's the thing. I'm afraid too many Christians don't feel that sense of "discomfort" anymore. I remember once, when I was very young and after first becoming a Christian, I was talking to the elder of our church. I expressed to him that sometimes, I felt uncomfortable with certain situations.

"That's a good thing," he told me.

I was a little confused.

"Why?"

"Because," he told me, "That means the Holy Spirit is convicting you."

Most of us won't go out tonight and rob a bank or steal a car- and that's a no-brainer. We might feel bad for doing that. But what about those little things that creep into our life and are completely justified because "every other Christian I know is doing it, too," and "it isn't really affecting me."

Just today, I was listening to a sermon on the radio about this very concept. The pastor was talking about how often, there are certain sin areas that are in our life that are never even acknowledged by self or by other fellow believers, because a) we all do them, b) it is minimized to less than what it really is, and c) we feel inferior to point out something that seems so trivial, fearing that others won't think it a big deal.

But the point is, whether we are murders, rapists, and thieves, or whether we are white liars and disobeyers, we are all in the same boat: headed for Hell and doomed for destruction, unless we repent of our sins and accept the gift Christ offered us via His blood that was shed on the cross. So with that being said... we may not take the Lord's name in vain or curse, and we may not sleep around, and we may not commit crimes and live alternative lifestyles... but do we continually watch TV shows and movies that explicitly shout all of those themes, and accept it willingly? What does our brain do with that?

I hate to come across as preachy. That's the last thing I want to do. It's just something that's been on my mind lately, and that's why I prefaced this post as I did, because I guess my great proclamation is that lately, I've been REALLY into reading books =) and I'm a huge fan of books over TV. I once read a statistic that said that you burn more calories sleeping than you do watching TV, and I'm not saying that reading a book burns calories (in fact, unless you're walking on a treadmill with book in hand, it's probably about the same as watching TV) BUT at least you're working your brain when you read. =)

So, I'm not sure if this will actually happen, but... whenever I move out of my parents' house, I'd love to move into a place with no TV. I'd love it. I would love to stock my book shelves with books, rent films that will inspire and educate, and fill the rest of my free time going out to coffee with friends or riding my bike that would have otherwise been spent wasted in front of a television.

I meant to use all of that to build up to what I really wanted to share about, which is a book I'm currently reading, but it has gotten far too long. So I'll just close with this one main concept. The book I'm reading is called "The Principle of the Path" by Andy Stanley. He states that if you want to get to a specific spot in life, you have to be intentional about how you get there. That seems obvious, but far too often in life, we follow the wrong examples. Look to the wrong people, talk to the wrong sources, ignore all the red flags, and then we wonder why we ended up where we did. Why the bank account is drained, why the class was failed, why the relationship tanked. He told the horrifying story of two teenage girls who were crossing a busy street. They were talking and not really paying attention, and they saw that the two lanes of traffic going straight had a green light, so that started crossing. However, they failed to recognize the other two lanes of traffic in the far left-hand lanes who were turning left, and the two girls were both hit by cars. They ended up visiting the hospital. Neither of them died or were critically injured, but his point was, how often do we walk through life fully INTENDING to choose the right path and get to a certain spot (the end of the road), but getting hit by a car in the middle? How many of us plan to walk into oncoming traffic? Our intentions are usually good. But intentions don't matter when the end result is disastrous, and we have to avoid those situations by paying attention. Seeking the right instructions, sources, and people.

My point in all of this, really, is that it's about perspective, balance, and honesty. I'm not about to become Amish, don't worry. BUT, I think for myself, I need to really evaluate what I allow myself to see and my motive behind it. Furthermore, there's a balance to be had between time spent entertaining myself and time I spend with things that edify and build up. Lastly, I think honesty is key in looking into your heart, cleaning house, and taking care of anything, even the smallest habit or mindset or lifestyle, so that God can be glorified rather than self. Because let's face it, is God glorified when we're jealous? When we don't forgive, or we gossip, or watch reality TV for 3 hours a day? I am convinced that almost every sin we commit is linked back to selfishness, pride, or a combination of both.

Anyway. I should close. I'll be back soon... with more thoughts, I'm sure. Writing like this is like therapy to me... it really is. Thanks for all who read, whoever you are. And I know there are more of you than I think there are, because I still have people who come up to me and say "I read your blog!" and I say, "You do?!" But hey, one of my goals in life is to touch others through writing, and hopefully one day I can publish a book, but until then... the blog is where it's at. Love you all.

T

I made one assumption that I am finding out is incorrect. I automatically assumed that everyone else who drives a Volkswagen Beetle would automatically want to be my friend. Not like "real life friends," but more like, "Oh my word, that girl has the same car as me, so I'm going to smile and wave," type of friends.

Ever since I received my new car, I have been prepared to smile, wave, and/or strike up a new relationship with any other VW Beetle driver on the road. Unfortunately, I am quickly finding that other VW Beetle drivers do not share and/or return the same affections.

It's not that they're mean. It's just that they aren't all super friendly. I think it's the coolest thing in the entire world when I see another bug. In fact, I have spent a larger part of my life shouting "MY CAR!" and pointing excitedly anytime a beetle passes by. Every beetle on the road was "my car." I have even been known to freak out fellow friends and family because I gasp and point so loudly when I spot one that they wonder if they're about ready to wreck. My reaction is about the same either way. So now that I actually drive one, I feel an even stronger connection to other VW drivers out there.

I mean, as far as I am concerned, not just anyone buys a VW Beetle. They are impractical, bright, eccentric, fun, and zippy little cars. These adjectives don't exactly fit the description most people are giving when they look to purchase a new vehicle. Largely, middle-aged women and young teen girls are the largest market for the VW Beetle. But within those 2 demographics, I still say you're special if you buy one. Because as I pointed out, not just anyone is going to buy this car. So I guess that's my basis for feeling like I'm best friends with anyone else who drives one.

Also, I have established a habit of taking a picture of my car anytime I am parked in the same vicinity as another VW Beetle. It's a fun little game I play. In fact, the other night, guess what happened. Kristi and I were arriving at the wedding reception of one of the weddings we were shooting, and in the hotel parking lot there was an empty slot next to another green VW Beetle. I quickly drove over and parked next to it. And took a picture.

I don't know why I think it's so cool. It's really probably not. The logical part of my brain says "Taryn, they drive the same car as you. Big deal. A lot of people do." But there is still something inside of me that fights that statement and says, "But they drive a brightly colored bubble that is unlike any other car on the road, so SOMETHING about them must be a little different... and therefore, we should be friends, or at least acknowledge how cool it is that we both drive this same car."

A couple of my friends recently purchased new vehicles, as well, within the past couple of years. They were talking about whether it bothered each other putting miles on their new car. Again, call me backwards, but I almost feel like I DO want to put miles on it. And a large part of that is due to my outlook on it: first of all, I don't plan on selling this anytime soon. I bought it brand new and so I'd like to hang on to it... maybe even forever, if possible. So with that in mind, why not get good use out of it? I'm paying for it, so why let it sit on a driveway or in a corner and collect dust? I realize some people like to keep miles down for better resale value and I totally get that. But considering this is my dream car, the one I've wanted all my life, and my end goal is to use it, have fun, and make the most of our journey together, then then way I see it, putting miles on it is the only way that will be done.

The more, the merrier.

I can't believe I just wrote an entire blog post on my car. I'll be back soon with something more substantial and meaningful. Really, I will.

Love you all... T