January - April 2017 Update!
2:27 PMIt has been awhile since I've updated (oh... just since our 1 year wedding anniversary back in January!!) so I thought it was time.
January
Back in late December / early January, Ryan and I took an anniversary trip to San Diego, CA. It was the first time for both of us, and it was a wonderful trip! The weather wasn't the best (I'm used to visiting 85 degree Florida beaches that time of year), but the SD area is a blast and we were at no shortage of things to do!
We stayed right on the ocean in a really fun location, so we had an amazing view and easy beach access. Some highlights included visiting the San Diego Zoo & Safari Park, waiting in line on New Year's morning to eat at Richard Walker's for breakfast, continuing our "Madison" tradition of finding awesome brunch locations, Ryan's first Ruth's Chris steak experience, getting an opportunity to visit family, and seeing the seals in La Jolla cove.
Here are a few picture highlights...
A cute little breakfast place not far from where we stayed. As usual, I have iced coffee in hand as we leave!
One of our favorite places-- Snooze! Ryan got to mix & match some bennies.
Trying out a coffee place in SD area called Better Buzz Coffee on a rainy day!
NYE Dinner & Dessert at The Boat House
The cinnamon baked pancake at Richard Walker's-- a must!! (Don't worry, we split it)
We found a Cat Cafe... Ryan is making friends with this beautiful kitty!
Riding on the sky lift at the SD Zoo!
My birthday brunch in La Jolla!
The many seals at La Jolla Cove... they were so fun to visit!
Enjoying the last bit of sunshine on our last day in Coronado... loving that SD skyline!
We were overjoyed and humbled to be entrusted with the life of a new child! The first couple of weeks after finding out, I felt pretty good-- maybe a bit more hungry than usual. This worked out well, because that next week was "Restaurant Week" in Madison. Participating restaurants give you a special menu and special prices, and you get to try a bunch of new places!
The plan was to wait until I was a bit further along to tell family, but around 6 weeks I woke up in the middle of the night with unbelievable nausea. (Welcome to the First Trimester, Taryn). I spent the rest of the night in the basement on the couch, nibbling on pieces of an apple to buy myself just 15 minutes of rest before another wave of nausea hit me.
I knew I was a beginner in this whole pregnancy thing, and I wasn't sure what to expect, but I knew that if I was going to feel that miserable for the next several weeks, that I would need support. So I did what any desperate, emotional and overwhelmed pregnant girl would do-- I FaceTimed my mom and two sisters, who were all in Florida together at that time, and the minute they answered I burst into tears.
"This isn't the way I wanted to tell you all," I said, in that moment saying good-bye to a special, in-person pregnancy announcement, "But I'm pregnant," I told them, tears streaming down my face, "And I feel awful."
They were locked into a car, holding the phone, trying to stay hidden away from their curious children and husbands, so that some semblance of our news could stay a secret. But they were SO excited, and spent the next 30 minutes talking me off the edge of the cliff, telling me that the way I was feeling was totally normal, and, well, to get used to it.
After telling them that all food made me want to vomit, that I was nauseous 24/7, and that I gagged at the sight or smell of anything with an odor, they gave me some helpful advice.
"Try swallowing your food like it's a pill."
"If you eat something and puke it up, try something else."
"Carbs, Taryn. Carbs carbs carbs. Carbs are your friend. And protein. Eat them both."
That weekend, we also told Ryan's parents, and decided to tell the rest of both of our families in a few weeks when we were back visiting.
February-March
Let me show you a picture of what the rest of January and most of my February / March days looked like:
I literally lived on my couch (if I made it out of bed).
I have never experienced anything like the first trimester in my entire life. I am not trying to be dramatic, but pregnancy literally hit me like a 10 ton truck. Not only was I nauseous 24/7, but I was extremely exhausted. Simple tasks like going up a flight of stairs or taking my dish to the sink literally wore me out. It was unbelievable.
I eventually figured out that one means of survival was to constantly be eating. This was tricky, since nothing in the world sounded good to me. (This, coming from the girl who loves to eat-- which is why this was so difficult for me. Foods I used to love now repulsed me, including coffee!)
If I could snack on something and especially if it contained protein, my nausea could somewhat be kept at bay. For about 45 minutes. Until I got hungry again.
So for three months, my life was an experiment in survival-- and I learned a lot. Here are a few lessons I'll take with me for next time, and I also list these in case they help anyone else out!
1. The minute I find out I'm pregnant and before the sickness sets in:
CLEAN OUT THE REFRIGERATOR.
This may sound silly, but it is vital. Every time I opened our fridge during the first trimester, I gagged. Not even joking.
Take out all the food-- pitch what is bad or could potentially smell. Wipe out the top and bottom, walls and drawers. Stock it with pregnancy-friendly foods-- apples, pudding, yogurt, cheese.
2. Make meals and freeze them for the sake of your husband and children who still need to eat and survive while you are busy laying on the couch and trying not to vomit.
3. Figure out what CAN be eaten, and have those foods on hand and readily available.
For me, those things included crackers and cheese, pretzels, yogurt, pudding, macaroni and cheese, fruit snacks, granola bars, bagels, popcorn, smoothies, and the occasional taco from Taco Bell.
Notice that nowhere on this list was meat included. Meat of any kind made me want to be ill (expect Grade F meat from Taco Bell, apparently). Some days, I could tolerate chicken fingers and fries from Wendy's (bonus points for a chocolate frosty). But most of the time, my main source of protein was CHEESE. Thank Heavens for cheese.
4. Live a Little.
As sick and nauseous and horrible as I felt, I learned that getting out (in small, manageable doses) was really good for me. I had to be careful, though-- if I pushed too far or too hard, I paid for it later. But going on a simple walk around the neighborhood and getting some fresh air, or forcing myself to run an errand to the store gave me a nice distraction. And sometimes, I could almost (ALMOST) forget that I felt as awful as I did.
Also, having visits from friends or calling up my mom on FaceTime every morning helped. (Thanks, Mom, for watching me force down my breakfast every morning or talking me through my newest pregnancy symptom every day).
5. Stay Positive. This is something I did not do. Honestly, it's exhausting feeling like you have the flu everyday for 6 weeks. It just gets to you after awhile. When you can't do simple tasks anymore like make your bed or put a load of laundry in without getting a pounding headache or running to the bathroom to throw up, it wears on you.
But I also had to realize I had so much to be thankful for. This suffering was not in vain, and it was not due to a terminal illness or cancer diagnosis. It was because Ryan and I had been blessed with a new little life to care for, a child of our own. And it was my body's responsibility to grow this new life, and to lay the important framework of its existence. And let me tell you-- that takes WORK! The body works extremely hard in that first trimester to take two little cells and turn them into a recognizable baby by the end of those first 14 weeks, and that is no small matter. It can be a shock to your system, and it was to mine for sure.
I struggled with comparing myself with others. I've said it before, but it's one of my favorite quotes: Comparison is the thief of joy.
I kept thinking that it was so unfair that I felt SO sick and haggard and other girls in their first trimester seemed to be doing just fine-- taking care of their children or going to their jobs or carrying on with life as usual. When all I could do was make it from my bed to my couch, I felt like a failure. But I needed to remember an important truth: Everyone experiences life differently, and no, it's not fair.
But you know what? I could have have it so much worse. Or my physical malady could have been due to an actual illness. And there I sat, soaking in my own misery, failing to realize the little miracle growing inside my very belly. Why do some people feel more sick than others? Why do some people have cancer, and others don't? Why do some people lose their jobs, or their parents, or their spouse, and others don't? These are life questions we grapple with all the time, but playing the victim card is never the route to happiness and joy. It steals it.
So I needed to learn to stay positive. Towards the end of the first trimester, I began making a list of things I was thankful for each day. I prayed every time I thought of it and thanked God for the life inside of me.
And amazingly, around 12 weeks pregnant, I started to feel better.
A Few Other Winter Highlights
Aside from putting a dent in our couch, I did live a bit of life during those months. Here are a few highlights...
Celebrating January Birthdays with the Kaiser family. This was actually very early January... I was pregnant here but did not know it yet! which is why I still look "not nauseous" in this picture!
Spending some time with sweet Mirielle while celebrating January birthdays with the Knepps
Revealing to the Kaiser family our special news! The nieces and nephews didn't know yet (nor did the husbands).
Appropriately... this is the shirt I wore to announce it :)
We had a baby shower for sweet little M in February! We also announced our news to the Knepp family during a meal prayer... at the end of the prayer, Ryan thanked God for a new little Knepp baby coming in September 2017. I have no documentation other than my memory, but I wish I would have gotten video of his two sisters shrieking with delight and running up to us with huge hugs seconds later!
Celebrating my Mom in February
Our official social media announcement, posted on March 15th after hearing a nice strong heart beat at my appointment!
A trip to Arizona in March to celebrate the life of my dear Uncle Ducky, who passed away. It was very special to spend that time with family and this is a shot of a bunch of the girl cousins!
April
Spring always brings with it new life... and literally for me, that is what I'm growing in my belly! But it was also a wonderful turning point for me in how I felt.
Around mid-March, I started feeling better, and every week thereafter it only improved. It is now to the point that I'm developing energy that I did not know I possessed! I wake up before 8am ready to start my day... that has never happened to me in my life! I have lots of motivation to get things done, but also find that if I lay down for just a minute and close my eyes, I'm just as easily caught up in a much-needed hourlong nap! So the energy is nice, but I also have to remember to slow down and rest at times, too.
Also nice is having my appetite back! My love of coffee has returned, as well as my love of cheeseburgers, fries, ice cream, skillet cookies, and a myriad of other breakfast foods and desserts. SO, I'm trying to keep this all in check and find a balance -- in all things, moderation!
I remember learning this last Spring in Madison, but because we are situated 3 hours north, we are about 3 weeks behind Central IL. Since I'm usually itching to get into the sun and see green grass and warmer days, this is very hard for me! Our grass has just now burst into that lush shade of green and the trees are only now budding. It's a good lesson in patience for me, though, and I'm enjoying what warm days we do have by going on walks on the trails around our neighborhood.
We enjoyed having Ryan's sister, brother-in-law and little girl come visit us in Madison a couple weekends ago. Here are a few pictures of our time together...
We had brunch at Marigold Kitchen in downtown Madison on Saturday morning! So delicious!
The zoo was a hit for both the adults and for little Miri!
She also LOVED the cats... a girl after my own heart!
What a dolly!
Loved our time together!
Easter was a bit later this year, so it was glorious to experience such warm weather while celebrating with both families!
It has been quite an eventful several months! I'll try to be back soon with another update, but until then... I'll leave you with the current status of my bump...
I have yet to feel baby move. Sometimes, I talk aloud to baby and I keep asking what he/she is (boy or girl?!) and when I will feel you move. So far, baby has given me no indication of either answer! I guess I will just have to wait until I feel that first flutter, and until Ryan and I can experience that moment together at our next ultrasound when we hear the words, "It's a....."
Thanks for all of your love and prayers and support, and for reading my blog!
T
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