Life has slowed down a bit, and I feel it... it's a much needed rest that I am fully aware will not last much longer. But I'm OK with that. I'm looking forward to the flurry of activity that will ensue in a couple of weeks, but until then... I'm enjoying the bliss of a week ahead of NO PLANS FOR THREE NIGHTS IN A ROW.

That never happens.

Ryan and I enjoyed his first Pumpkin Festival last weekend. I actually had a dream about it the other night, but I have to say the reality was much better. He was a good sport and experienced all the best parts with me-- eating a meal in the food tent, walking around, riding the Ferris Wheel, attending the Saturday morning parade, and of course... pumpkin ice cream.



We were supposed to get our engagement pictures done that Friday night, but it rained and never stopped, so... we rescheduled. But I am very thankful we did, because instead we had an absolutely beautiful sunlit Sunday evening for the pictures. I loved the experience, mostly because I am rarely on the other side of the camera. It was fun to be the "photographed" :) and I am SO happy with how the images turned out.

This is just one of the many amazing images taken by the talented Meredith Washburn.

Last blog post, I talked about taking time to stop and enjoy everyday moments. I have been working on it, and it's amazing how it changes my perspective. I'm not always perfect with it, because as humans we tend to default to our natural tendencies, but it's a work in progress.

On Sunday morning, I went to Tazewell jail and ministered there with another lady-- I'm usually on my own, but sometimes it's nice to have another person there to help support and supplement. As usual, on my way home, I stopped by Starbucks (I mean, it's literally on my way home... ;) and as I turned the corner to the coffee shop, I noticed a long line of cars curved around in the drive-thru line. I was approaching to get my spot in line, but saw an oncoming car who was clearly trying to turn left to also get in line. She looked frustrated, so I stopped and waved her in line ahead of me. She took my offer and waved her thanks of appreciation. I ordered as usual, and then when I finally got up to the window, the barista appeared and said, "OK, so we just had something happen that has never happened before. The lady ahead of you said you were nice and let her into the line, so instead of buying your drink, she bought you a $10 gift card."

The barista held up the card that read, "Thanks! The next one is on me!"

This pretty much made my morning. Again, it was a reminder that sometimes, choosing to slow down and enjoy the little moments can be rewarding. Had I been in my usual rush-rush-rush mode, I would have undoubtedly claimed my place in the long Starbucks line ahead of her, not wanting to waste on more minute that I had to waiting for my coffee. And my point is not to do nice things for people with the expectation of a "thank you" or resulting gift. It's more of an overall attitude, because people can tell when you genuinely care versus being too busy to even notice.

I attended a visitation of a dear family friend last night who died entirely too young of cancer. She leaves behind a husband and 3 young kids. Her battle with cancer only lasted 5 months, but the entire time she sustained a positive attitude and was extremely open about her journey. She allowed others to embrace her and pray for her and her family. So many people came out to show their support and love, and it was encouraging to see. Afterwards, I went out to dinner with my cousin who flew in from Arizona, my sisters and my dad. We talked about how it's so strange to think that she is just gone. It seems too soon. Our human minds want to say that she had at least 30-40 more good years left in her life. Why do some people only get 40 years on Earth, and others get 100? These are the questions that plague humankind, along with "Why do good people suffer?" and "What is the point of cancer?" The point is not always to understand the reason, but to trust the God who is very much in control and always has a purpose in our pain. And the best part is the glorious end in sight that we have... we may not always have a WHY but we often get glimpses of God's miraculous love, even in suffering, and we always have a WHO and a WHERE... and that is an eternity in Heaven with our Father.

T

I have been wanting to update for awhile, for a couple of reasons-- first, because I don't update nearly enough. And second, because I want to be better about sharing little tidbits here and there and also how God is working in my life, especially once I move away.

So here we are. I am an engaged woman and if you had asked me at the very beginning of last January if I was going to be engaged & planning a wedding by Fall, I would have said NO WAY! But because we serve a God who has a timetable all His own, I am not left that surprised. Just like any other big "first steps" in life that I have anticipated (first day of Jr. High, learning to drive a car, moving away and attending college, first job interview, starting my own business, etc.)-- as daunting as some things may seem, I am always prepared for that next step when it comes, and it unfolds so naturally. God has an interesting way of preparing one's heart. He knows the relationships that will grow and challenge you, the situations that will test your Faith, and the timing that ties it all together.

To anyone reading this who is "waiting" on something to be fulfilled in their life-- I know how wonderfully frustrating that last paragraph can sound. December 2014 Taryn would have read something like that and reacted, "That sounds great, but it's easy for her to say. She's on the other side and everything worked out." But deep down, even if that flippant attitude would surface in me from time to time, I still knew the Truth... I knew that regardless of how God chose to fulfill the desires of my heart, He would do it perfectly, even if that meant never getting married. And I trusted Him in that. So my encouragement is that even if all you have is merely a speckle of that Faith-- just hold onto it. God is faithful and He will come through.

The past month has been packed with wedding planning before my mom went on her month-long trip to Australia and New Zealand. She planned this trip-of-a-lifetime with her friend last January, long before anything had really transpired in my love life ;) and so she is currently several time zones away enjoying Australia in the Spring. I am so excited for this opportunity she has and can't wait to hear about the many adventures she will have!

Fortunately, we were able to get a lot accomplished before she left, which essentially gives me the "month off" while she's gone. But not really. It's more so a break from the wedding planning, but time still marches on which means I need to be somewhat productive considering I'll be moving away in 4 months and beginning life as a married person. This means taking care of my little house, starting to go through all the "stuff" in my garage, and continuing to brainstorm and stay inspired so we can dive back into wedding plans as soon as my mom returns.

It seems like at any time in my life, if I am tuned in enough, there is usually something in particular God is trying to tell me. And right now, He's saying, "Taryn, be patient." I have a tendency to forget about the past and live in the future, all while missing the present. The "what will be" has always seemed more exciting to me than the "what is." Don't get me wrong-- I love where I am at in life right now. There's no place I'd rather be than engaged to Ryan. But if I'm not careful, I can very easily become impatient and allow the future to trump the specialness of the present.

 
And let's be honest. January 9th will be here before I know it, and then I'll look back and think, "How did this go by so quickly?" I have a lot to look forward to in the coming months. I've already had several friends and family members tell me, "Taryn, just enjoy it." So lately, I've been working on enjoying the moment for the sake of the moment. This is typically difficult for me to do, since my mind is usually 10 steps ahead. But I've already seen the positive in slowing down and recognizing what I have each day-- my health, my family, my friends, my fiance, my job, and all the little details that surround those things.

This is enough for now-- I'll be back soon enough with another update. It may or may not include the awesomeness of the Pumpkin Festival.

Love you all--

T

I knew it would be happening "soon," but as I quickly found out, "soon" is a very relative term.

But he's not just any guy. He's the one I've been praying about for many years. How do I know? 

It's interesting-- when I was younger, I would have told you that I don't like to travel. I had no desire to go out of state, let alone out of the country. Then enters my High School years and early college years where my love for "creating" and telling a story and photography began to grow. I received my first professional-ish camera in 2007 at college graduation-- a digital SLR. I remember experimenting with the quick shutter speed and wide aperture and falling in love immediately.

As photography became a hobby and then a passion, so did communicating a message. I "experience" my life best by photographing. Some might feel trapped or inhibited by this notion, but for me, it's the best way I know how to tell a story (aside from just writing about it). If I could have the ability to take a picture at any time without the presence of a clunky camera, I would; unfortunately, some moments are better left alone and unphotographed so as not to disrupt the value of intimacy. It's always my biggest struggle-- do I snap a picture and risk upsetting the mood, or hold back and regret the candid moments I could have captured?

My heart's mission was soon formed when I started going on missions trips. The best way I knew how to utilize my talents (because let's face it-- my dad may be a concrete finisher and my mom may be a seamstress, but I inherited 0 of those skills) was to take pictures. And not just record the trip, but to capture life-- what is really going on-- and what continues to go on when the work team packs up and leaves. How can these images tell the story without eloquent words being written or a lengthy dialogue spoken? Can a child's eyes grip your heart... can the interaction of two cultures colliding resonate with your soul... can the smile of a baby that is malnourished but loved inspire you to pray more for the underprivileged? If so, then I have done my job.

So my goal in going to Mexico was yes-- to capture what goes on there-- but also, to visit a dear friend who has dedicated almost 2 years of love, life, and service to CVE and its mission. I admire her for her tenacity and servant's heart. I think what stuck out to me the most about this particular trip was the change in pace. I was used to visiting places like this on a work team-- and having the GO-GO-GO schedule of every hour being planned. But being down there this time felt more like real life to me... as if I was even just living at my sister's house for a week and her 5 children. I enjoyed eating breakfast with the "family," running around outside in the mornings and jumping on the trampoline, going on bike rides, hikes, coffee shop outings and even running to the grocery store. Most importantly, I put a "face to a name" so to speak with all the people, kids, and places that Kendra sees on a daily basis. And the mission of CVE was more clearly cemented into my mind, which makes my prayers for it more specific.

I was struck by the kids there. I realize I was only there for the snippet of a week, but they seemed so well-adjusted, well-behaved and well-aware of love. I am sure the reality of each particular situation presents plenty of challenges, but nonetheless, I was impressed by what I saw. And just what did I see?

Sweet smiles, hopeful happiness, lots of laughing, running and jumping, unconditional love, a sense of security, and of course-- sunshine... in more ways than one>> the Son was shining, too. Big time.












Kendra and Tadeo


 Be back soon-- T

It's one of those things that is more exciting than the "thing." You know?

I realized it this Christmas-- and really, I have realized it before, but was just reminded of it again. The 3-4 weeks prior to December 25th were so exciting. Christmas music on at all times. Twinkle lights lined every house and every store exterior. There was the hope of a white snowfall and scents of gingerbread cookies and candy cane desserts. My Christmas tree splashed color throughout my house, and strings of lights kept it glowing, even in the dark of the night. Parties were attended, shopping was completed, gifts were wrapped. I found myself wondering what Christmas Day 2014 would bring this year-- what would be under the tree, and how would the day go?

Anticipation. It pulsed through my entire being until the day of, and as the day got closer, it was almost sad because then it meant it would soon be over. The day comes and goes, and although it is a day full of joy, it doesn't last forever. Soon enough, it's December 26th. The wrapping paper gets stuffed into black garbage bags, the leftover food is eaten or thrown out, and the decorations come down. The tree goes back into the attic and the "new" items received are exciting, but already losing their initial glimmer.

Fortunately, New Year's Day is strategically placed within a week to once again raise spirits, and catapult most of us into a clean slate of resolutions and "going-to-do-better-this-year" activities. For me, I anticipated going to Mexico the day after Christmas (more on my MX trip in a later post), yet that has come and gone. My next source of anticipation is Florida at the end of January.


It's just so interesting to me how the hype is often times more exciting than the actual event. I'm not saying it's wrong, and in fact, it's probably a good thing. It extends the joy from the source. But it turned me to a spiritual connection-- and that is the most important anticipation we can have-- the hope of Heaven. Imagine a life with nothing to look forward to-- just the same predictable day with nothing fun for the future. Wouldn't that be dull? Imagine a life where this is as good as it gets-- and when the "game is over" and the last breath is taken, everything goes downhill. The best of your years was spent on this Earth, piling up treasures while here that eventually grow old and rust over and must be replaced.

But there is so much more to live for-- thanks to Jesus. And traveling to places like an orphanage in Mexico or a school in Zambia or the deaf village in Jamaica reminds me of that very idea: it's what hope and love can do. People there don't have an accumulation of "things" or happiness this world can bring, but what they have been shown is hope, and love. Anticipation for a better way. Love demonstrated in ways they cannot imagine. Hope of a better home, even if they never get to experience a complete one here on Earth. We weren't created to live in broken families and abusive relationships and cope with evil actions, but thus, here we are. Living in it. Yet because of Jesus, He gives us something so much greater to anticipate-- a new place, a new home, a new way. I often think of something I anticipate here on Earth-- something I love SO much-- and then I imagine that Heaven must be at least 100 trillion times better than even that.

I recently read about two colors that exist but as humans, we are unable to perceive. It's part of our limitations as a human-- but they are there. It's the mixture of the colors red & green and the mixture of the colors blue & yellow. It creates 2 new beautiful colors, similar to how red & blue make purple. Scientists have figured out a way to allow humans in certain studies to perceive these colors, and when asked to describe them, they can't. It's because-- how do you describe something you have never seen before? I am convinced that there are so many new colors in Heaven, so many new sounds and songs, new tastes and sights and sensations. Things we cannot even begin to imagine, because as humans we are so limited. Something to anticipate. (For those who would like to read more about these 2 colors, you can read the full article here).

This 2015, I am thankful for my life-- that I have it, and that overall, it's pretty good. And although that may be true, I am even more thankful that I can anticipate something far better.

Love you all... be back soon with a recap on Mexico. T

I decided that if I could just manufacture more time, then that would solve a lot of problems in my life.

I recently noted that I'm really busy, and usually my life comes down to this simple decision:

Do I want to do "this," or do I want sleep?

Usually, sleep trumps everything, even if it's something I know I have to get done.

I'm not a sleepaholic, nor am I the type who needs 18 hours of sleep a night. However, I once read that between the 3 things-- eating right, exercising, and sleeping-- if you had to choose one to NOT skimp on, it would be sleep. It's so important. Without sleep, we don't think clearly, make the right decisions, or find ourselves physically able to make good decisions regarding eating, exercising, or anything else.

So I take it pretty seriously-- and I have also adopted the motto for it that I also have with eating-- "Listen to your body." If we are healthy and functioning at a normal level, it is really quite simple. Am I exhausted? I need to get to bed. Am I starving? I need to eat. Am I still hungry after a meal? I need more protein or fiber. Am I full? Stop eating-- step away from the chocolate cake-- step away...

The first words out of my mouth in the morning are, "I don't want to get out of bed." (I usually say that to either one of my cats, who is snuggled up and purring right beside me, which is why I am running late most mornings.) Eventually and reluctantly, I roll out of my nice warm abyss between the sheets and quickly wrap myself up in the fleece robe that has been deposited onto my bedroom floor from the morning before. It's hard to get going but once I do, I run full speed ahead.


So the only solution is to add 2-3 more hours to each day. How about 26 hour days? Or 28 hour days?

Anyone else with me?

Be back soon-- T