What do you say?

That is what I keep asking myself.

"I'm praying for you" sounds too trite. "I know what you're going through" is a lie.

If there was a way to give a hug, a look of sympathy, a feeling of love, and a prayer of comfort into a verbally expressed package, that is what I would say.

One of my really good friends from my early college days died of cancer this weekend. He married another one of my really good friends about four years ago.

He left behind two beautiful daughters and a beautiful wife, inside and out. Today, there was a Spirit-filled memorial service for him, a celebration of his life and a "revival" for many. As his father-in-law and brother both spoke, I couldn't help but think about some words I heard whispered while I was standing in line at his visitation the night before.

"You have to wonder what the purpose of all this is," floated into my ears from behind.

My mind immediately went to Jesus. Because He has a plan. And while we all may wonder, "Why? What, Lord?" when something so devastating happens, all glory must still point back to Him. And it does. Even in times that make absolutely no sense to our human brains.

We try to explain everything that happens and even though life and what happens doesn't always have an answer, we praise Jesus still. A supernatural energy from the Spirit filled my heart today during Jordan's service, and I felt the Lord nudging me and saying, "Taryn, what are you doing? What are you doing in life right now? Are you living wholeheartedly for me? Devoting every second of it? Fulfilling my purpose for you? What part of your life are you still holding onto, what part won't you give to me?"

A death, especially one that hits so close to home, certainly puts everything into perspective. I was standing in line with a friend for the lunch that was provided after the funeral service, and I couldn't help but note that even "lunch" seemed trivial and flaky after such a memorial. I mean, I know we must eat and life must go on... but somehow, I wanted to keep dwelling on the hugeness of this situation and let it soak in. And putting a piece of fried chicken on my plate seemed out of place in that moment. I think I'd rather be in Heaven with Jordan, and my Grandpa Kaiser, and my Grandma & Grandpa Schupbach... and many others.

But God has us here. So I submit a challenge... to myself, and to anyone else. Going back to my previous line of questioning, what am I doing in life? What parts are strong, and what parts need strengthening? Is the Spirit alive and active in my heart, in my mind, and in my actions?

Jordan was an amazing friend. I can still remember all of the good, fun times we had. He helped make my college experience an unforgettable one. Following are some pictures to paint the picture of a few of our great memories...

May his life and all he touched continue to be a little breath of Heaven and a reminder of the hope that lies within all of us.


Love you all!

T

The 6 in 5 is over. And I'm so ready for the break.

Well, here I am.

I'm currently sporting a paint-stained outfit. Less than an hour ago, Holly was giggling at my pants. Not because they are paint-stained, but because evidently the style was a little too much for her to handle. She asked my why I was wearing them. I told her they were my paint pants. She asked me if I ever wore them before. I said yes. She asked me how long ago. I told her, fairly recently. Within the past 2 years.

She was still giggling.

I promptly reminded her that I'm not one to be anything too mainstream in the way I dress. They are light-colored jeans, wide-legged, with no pockets in the back, and they have a hem of fuzzy material straight down the center of both pant legs. I actually regard them as some of my favorite pants I've owned.

Something tells me she was making fun of me. =) I can still remember the first time that I realized that my style is VERY different than most, and at that moment I became OK with it. I was shopping with my closest girl friends in Chicago, and I held up a t-shirt for one of my friends.

"Taryn," she told me, "That is borderline tacky."

I thought it was adorable.

And that's when I knew... I'm attracted to different things, and it's OK.

Ever since, I've embraced my uniqueness and live it out to the fullest. Maybe sometimes a little TOO much, but my friends and family are always there to reel me back in.

Anyway-- painting. We spent all day in our NEW office painting walls. Kristi and I are blessed to have AWESOME friends who have come for a couple of days now and helped us make some great progress. Today we accomplished everything that we wanted-- I am now fairly certain I could sand any plastered wall, climb to mountain-top heights with a paint roller, and do electrical work.

The color we picked might surprise some. It is actually taking everything within me to paint an office such a neutral color. If it was up to Kristi, she'd have the whole thing in black & white. I couldn't be anymore opposite. I love color, and I love combining colors. But in the end, we decided this office needs to upgrade to a certain "classy" feel that our current office lacks. Furthermore, we want to show off our work, not our walls. We can be artistic and creative in how we show off our images, and having a neutral background really helps that effort to pop.

SO. Also-- today at noon, we found out we won a contest that has been going on for a couple of days. Check out the details here.

Well, this is short and sweet, at least for me. But I have to make this a wrap. I'm covered in paint, and my social life for the weekend starts in 1 hour and 15 minutes. I'm going to hit the ground running and probably won't stop until Sunday evening at about 5pm. Sometimes I wish there was a "Pause" button on life so I could book a flight to Hawaii and take a day off. But, as I always say, I'd rather be busy than bored, and, well, looks like I have my wish.

Love you all!

T

I have attended a lot of wedding services lately because of the nature of my job. I have to say that one of the most popular Scripture selections is 1 Corinthians 13.

Fair enough-- it IS the love chapter.

But sometimes hearing it again and again can be dangerous, because an attitude of "heard it, know what it means," develops and soon it's so easily tuned out.

A few years back, I dissected this chapter because it caught my attention for some reason. My thought was, God is love. So if God is love, then 1 Corinthians 13 lists characteristics of His personality.

As a lover of personality types, this was an exciting realization.

Forgive me for using "The Message" as a translation, but there's something about it that simplifies everything so well for me. Following are the characteristics of love:

Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.
Love doesn't strut,
Doesn't have a swelled head,
Doesn't force itself on others,
Isn't always "me first,"
Doesn't fly off the handle,
Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn't revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.

To me, this sounds like a tall order. I find it a challenge to accomplish just one of these phrases, let alone the whole list. And sometimes, situations in life seem to call for it all in one shot. An overall "loving" attitude is not in our human nature. Today, I was just listening about how we naturally want to compete, hate, and feed the flesh... not love.

Anyway, the list is a good one to go over and review, even daily, and keep in check with how life is being lived.

I was studying this chapter recently, and a couple of other things popped out at me...

Verse 12. It talks about not being able to see things clearly. We don't have the whole picture. I tend to be a curious person. I could ask questions all day long if I knew someone was willing to answer me. I love to learn, especially about people and circumstances, and I often want to know "Why?"

Again and again, I hear the Truth from God's Word telling me that in and through the good times and the bad, we won't always know why. The better question we can ask God is, "Lord, what do you want me to learn? How can I glorify You?"

Because I have to face it: Is knowing "why" going to change the way something turns out? Is knowing "when" going to change how God orchestrates something? If anything, NOT knowing does one thing: It causes us to trust God more. It points back to Christ, and makes us realize our deep need for Him, our inability without Him, and the way in which we must have Faith in Him.

There is a lot that goes on that we don't understand. In fact, almost everyday my mind is plagued with "why, how, and when" questions. The more I learn about God, the more I see just how very VAST He is and how I just don't understand. But I always come back to the same conclusion: God must be glorified.

In the words of verse 12: "We don't yet see things clearly. We're squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won't be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We'll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us!"

Could it be that there's so much that we don't understand, so much we don't know, so much we can't look ahead and see, because God just wants us to trust in Him?

You see, it points our focus back to where it should be. I'm not in charge, and no one else is, either. My track record plainly shows that whenever I have tried to take over, most of the time the scenario crashes and burns. Life, and living it, is best left in the hands of the Master.

My other realization with this chapter is at the very end, which wasn't so much a realization as it was a powerful reminder... "that the greatest of these three is love." That's serious. It doesn't matter what we do in life, if we aren't doing it in love... it's worthless.

So as I look over that list of characteristics again, I feel a bit overwhelmed. Yet I know that I can obtain the grace and power to be loving in that supernatural way only through God.

Love you all!

T

Do you ever have times that you know will be sad, but you don’t realize how emotionally affected you are until the tears come?

I mentioned a few blog posts ago about how Nautilus is closing. Nautilus is the “gym,” if you will, that my parents have worked out at for years. There’s nothing quite like it. Physical Description: Various Nautilus machines are situated in a circuit on the upstairs of a barn room. I can remember going there as a little girl and playing in the “play room” downstairs while my parents worked out.

During my early teen years, I started working out there with my parents. I loved it. There is a schedule you follow every time you go. You also have a card that lists all the exercises and weights, so you know how to set everything correctly. The goal is slow weight training. You do less reps on an 8-second count. If you get more than 10 reps, you’re either lifting too fast or need to raise your weights. It’s all about failure. When the muscles fail, you know you’ve done all you can do. In fact, I was always told that it’s better to do 4 slow reps and fail than do 10 fast ones.

Anyway, I learned a lot about technique, form, and staying fit during my years of working out there. It has always kept me in shape and feeling good.

But my favorite part has to be the man who has faithfully run this place for years- Mark. Over the years, he has welcomed anyone who walks in the doors and encourages any person to come. He believes in what he does, and he’s good at it. He’s an excellent trainer. He has a dry sense of humor and a quick wit that is both refreshing and a bit quirky. When it’s a down time, he is the first to come by my side, answer any questions I may have, give me a hard time, or push me harder. He knew what I could do and pushed me past that. I was called a “baby” more times than I can count—he didn’t put up with complaining! (Or he called me “Chelly, Jr.”)

Nonetheless, Mark is who made this place what it is.

Last night, I walked into the doors of Nautilus with the full understanding that this would be my very last work out.

As I did, one of the handicapped girls who has worked out there for years had also arrived for her last time. Mark greeted everyone as he always does and quickly grabbed our exercise cards, busying himself. I could tell in his demeanor that he was trying to stay distracted. Distracted from being sad.

The handicapped girl had a letter in her hand. She had scribbled a note to Mark, and with bright eyes she told him, “I’m going to read this to you.”

This is what it said. “Dear Mark, You are the best trainer in the WHOLE world! AND, you are very funny.”

With that, she let out a big series of giggles.

This lightened the mood a little, and Mark got her started downstairs as I climbed the stairs to the top floor. I started on the first couple of machines. As I was finishing up on one of the machines, the other lady upstairs appeared right in front of me.

“A few of us are coming here tomorrow evening at 8,” she said, “and I’m going to bring cake. I feel like we need to do something… for him,” she explained.

I agreed and nodded.

“I’ll try to be there, and I’ll tell anyone else I know works out here,” I told her.

“I’d appreciate it.”

A few moments later, Mark came bounding upstairs, grabbed my card, and set all my machines, as he always does.

“Mark… what are you going to do now?” I asked him.

“I don’t know,” he answered sadly. “The only thing I’m good at right now is crying.”

The lady I had been talking to finished up and headed downstairs. I was just finishing up on the abdominal machine, and before hopping off, I asked, “Where am I next?”

Mark’s always good about directing me to the next exercise.

But he didn’t reply.

I looked over to see Mark standing there with his arms wide open.

I walked right over and gave him a huge hug.

“I’m going to miss you,” I told him.

“I’m going to miss you, too,” he said.

“I’m going to miss this place,” I added.

“You’re not the only one.”

He pulled back then, and I could see tears in his eyes. The rough and tough, stronger than life, physically fit man who had always been the first to push me past my weakest moments was crying.

And just like that, he was down the stairs.

I walked over to the next machine on the list and climbed onto the seat. Then I lost it. The tears just came out of nowhere, streaming down my cheeks. I kept wiping my eyes, willing everyone to stay away.

And they did. After letting a few more tears out, I finished up my workout and headed downstairs. I stood by the counter and just looked at Mark. He was talking to me, showing me all the cards people had given him. I didn’t know what to say. I wanted a nice good-bye, but I couldn’t think of one. So I said the only thing that sounded like a good plan to me:

“Mark, I’ll stop by again tomorrow… to give you one last hug.”

I don’t know what Mark will do. His situation is not favorable, and without going into specific detail, there’s not much else I can say. A lot of my heartache is for him and what his future may or may not hold. Nautilus was his life, and it’s what he is so good at. Now what?

For me, it’s like going from a small-town, quaint little book store where the owner knows you by name, knows exactly what books you like, and lets you borrow them without a second thought. And it’s like that bookstore closing and having to move on to Barnes & Noble.

Need a book? Either one will do the job. But only one can give you the personal, unique, and endearing experience that a more corporate place cannot.

So, Gold’s Gym, here I come…

But it may take me awhile to warm up.

Good-byes are never easy, but they are a part of life. And with every closed door comes another opportunity. It may not be what we wanted, hoped for, and thought we needed… but often, it’s a good check on perspective, a time to grow, and a way to become stronger.

Love you all!

T

A few days ago, I thought it would be a good idea to enact the "Top Ten Tuesday" feature again. It's been awhile. And what's better than a Top Ten Tuesday on a Tuesday?

Answer: A Top Ten Tuesday 1 day early!

Really, though, I foresee a busy tomorrow, and since I have a window of time now, I decided it better happen today.

So here it is.

Topic: Moments.

I love the concept of time. It really fascinates me. In fact, lately I have been hearing a lot about how God is outside of time. One fact I always struggle understanding is that God always was and always will be. The eternal nature of this makes my head spin. I get the "forever" part, but the "always has been?" Crazy.

But the reason I don't "get" it is because everything in this life is measured by time. Beginning & end. We were wired to understand events, circumstances, and happenings by time.

So to say something happened before time... it just doesn't compute.

My point is, time is a real interesting piece. Another cool thing about time is that every second (or pick your unit of measurement) is unique. You can't duplicate a minute, you can't get a minute back, and you can't experience a future minute until you're in it.

Which is another reason why I love that my passion is what it is. Taking pictures allows me to have just a little control over capturing a moment forever.

You can't pause time. Sometimes, moments are forgotten forever if they aren't recorded in the written form or told in a story.

But a moment CAN live on forever if it's captured in a picture.

The definition of a moment is "the exact point in time."

Photography is my job, so there are certain criteria that must be met regarding what it is I'm shooting. If it's a wedding, there are standard pictures we get. If it's a family photo session, there are certain poses we set up.

But photography as a passion in my personal life is a little different. Sure, there is the occasional "family photo" I take at birthday parties or events, but all in all, my camera lives on me when I'm with family & friends for one reason: I love, love, love to capture "moments."

To capture a moment means to capture the story of why you're there. The "action" of it, the "feeling" of it, the "candidness" of it. Taking pictures for me is almost like writing a book. It serves as author and illustrator. Even when I don't have the ability to write captions with my photos, I feel pictures say so many words on their own.

As much as possible, we also try to incorporate this theory into our Imagine Artists' work. I almost feel like it's there by default, especially at the more candid parts of our shoots (wedding reception, family walking from one location shoot to the other, a senior laughing at a joke).

So, to stop the long-winded explanation, here is the Top Ten. I went through my online albums from Dec. 2009-June 2010 and picked out images that I feel share what I've been talking about in a "moment."

Vote for your favorite moment.

Love you all!

T

Last summer at this time, my business partner, Kristi, and I were sitting in my parents' basement, tossing around the idea of looking into a storefront for our office.